Manusia dan Kehidupan

Ada manusia, kadangnya cakap macam murai yakni laju tanpa jeda, menggores hati manusia lain tanpa sedar.

Ada manusia, kadangnya diam seribu bahasa, angguk dan geleng apabila ditanya, mungkin kerana belum biasa.

Ada manusia, senyumannya manis mencairkan hati, lirikannya manis menggoda jiwa namun di hatinya berbekas sejuta parut yang masih luka.

Manusia, kadangnya terlalu mengikut kata hati yang emosi, mengabaikan akal yang memandu arah sehingga halal haram dipandang enteng.

Tetapi, itulah manusia. Ragamnya aneh sukar dibaca, tuturnya berwibawa ibarat ketua, luarannya kukuh dalamnya lembik.

But hey, let us don't judge people. Sesungguhnya, Syurga itu dipenuhi orang orang yang bertaubat. Sejauh mana pun kita pernah terkandas, if we realise and repent, dengan izin Allah, Allah ampunkan. Kan ke Allah tu Maha Pengampun, Maha Penyayang?

For everyone who are reading this, I believe, you have struggled a lot. You are struggling to live the life you are living in right not and sometimes, maybe some people don't understand.
But hey say what? Just stay positive.

If you have hit the lowest rock bottom, you may have lose your faith. You want to give up and escape from everything. But remember, if you have hit the lowest rock bottom, then the only thing you can do is fighting to go up, bcs that is the only way left to go.

Don't ever, ever lose your faith in Allah. He loves you more than human does. Hidup ni bukan untuk puaskan manusia. If they can mock you, so why you have to back up them?

Yes, be kind to others. But don't ever let them to let you down. You are precious !

Dunia memang tak seindah syurga, tapi tidak juga seazab neraka.

Tak boleh buat? Heyy. Aku tahu kau boleh? Selama ni kau dah bertahan untuk kuat, kenapa sekarang kau lemah? Just hang in there and pray lots to Allah. Allah know the best.
Stay strong okay.

Many people love you.
So do I.

Aww haha :D

Serenity

I have hit the lowest rock bottom. I almost gave up. I almost lost my entire world. What is this feeling that I had been feeling for years?

Loneliness. Yes, it is the feeling of loneliness that had engulfed me all this time.

I woke up every single morning just to feel better, but in the end of the day, rather than feeling more better, it just got worse. The cycle repeats but I never got the chance to find the real definition of life.

If this is a dream, please wake me up. I had been having nightmares for too long so please somebody wake me up.

But is this really a dream?

I guess not. And I have to continue living and surviving.

To live and to survive is two different things. To live means to do what ordinary people do every single day; eating, sleeping but to survive means to do more than just living; endure hardships, neglect negativity and more.

Can I really endure everything ? After all these pain and heartbreaks that have strike me, will I survive?

And will I find my very own serenity ?

"Dear, everything is just a fly on your nose. Hush it and it will go,"

So, nak tak nak, we have to be strong by ourselves. Because it is our will to be strong, to change and to rise up.

de:

Aku kecewa dengan orang.

Aku sedih.

Sedih sangat sangat.

meaninglessscribles

Somehow, we can't control our feelings. We tried to handle it but we failed continuously. Brutally honest, I hope hard feelings would fade.

Why should this feelings appear at the very start ?
When I was not ready.
When I was not yet mature.

Being around people is hard. We meet many people with lots of behavior and problems. And we judged them carelessly just at the first look on their outfit, not at their heart.

Have you asked yourself, " Why am I here?" or "Oh I wish I can be like them. Happy w/o worries,"

Oh dear, are you sure about that?

I suggest you to look back and think. Think over and over again.

Happy smile may hide thousand secrets.
They are heartbroken and in pain, but they choose to show that they are not emotional.
But, until when?

They will cry. Their anger will burst. They will distance themselves.
It is just a matter of time.

So, live your life. Don't go around saying that your life is bad.
It is just a bad day, not a bad life.

Plus, there are people who are still struggling their heart out for a better life.

So, say Alhamdulillah.
Be grateful for what you have right now.

Ramadan

Aku membuka mata. Cahaya yang menerobos masuk melalui tingkap bilik aku membuatkan aku segera bangun.

'Mesti ayah yang buka ni," omel aku sendirian.

Aku keluar dari bilik dengan rambut yang kusut masai. Retina mataku tertancap pada sekujur tubuh yang duduk di atas sofa, membelakangiku.

"Ayah?" aku menyapanya, unofficially. Haha lantak aku la nak official ke tak nak.

"Ha, baru bangun? Matahari dan naik ke langit baru nak buka mata," bebel ayahku. Tapi aku tahu, bebelnya cuma sementara.

"Penatlah, yah. Semalam tidur lambat siapkan proposal," aku mempertahankan diriku. Pftt, proposallah sangat.

Ayah aku cuma membisu. Dia menghirup kopinya sedikit sebelum menyambung bicara.

"Tak lama lagi nak Ramadan," katanya.

"Adik tahu. Tak sabarnya. Nanti dapat jumpa ibu dengan yang lain lain kan?" aku membalas. Naifnya!

"Kenapa cakap macam tu?" tanya ayah.

Yelah. Lepas puasa, raya. Masa pagi raya first tu, mesti dapat jumpa ibu. Hari lain mana ada nak jumpa. Setahun sekali je. Pahtu dapatlah jumpa kak long dengan abang ngah sekejap dua tiga hari sebelum dorang balik semula. Pahtu tinggallah adik sorang sorang kat sini.

"Yelah, nanti along dengan angah balik. Pahtu pagi raya tu bolehlah ziarah kubur ibu." aku balas, pendek. Sedih bunyinya.

"Adik masih salahkan ayah? Pasal kematian ibu?"

"Adik tak pernah cakap ayah salah. Adik cuma terkilan. Setiap tahun adik tertunggu-tunggu Ramadan dengan Syawal. Sebab masa tu barulah family berkumpul ramai ramai. Tu pun kekadang along mana balik. Angah je yang rajin balik jenguk kita.

Nak ziarah kubur ibu pulak setahun sekali je. Adik rindu ibu tahu tak. Adik rasa Ramadan dengan Syawal baru orang kenal erti hubungan bersaudara tu apa. Baru nak jenguk sana, jenguk sini. Kalau tak, takde maknanya," bebel aku, melepaskan amarah di dada.

Ayah tersenyum nipis.

"Adik, kalau adik rasa macam tu, inikan lagi ayah. Ibu tu isteri ayah, ibu kepada anak-anak ayah. Ayah hidup dengan ibu lagi lama dari adik tahu tak. Ayah lagi rasa kehilangan ibu. Kalau anak-anak ayah tak balik, ayah duduk berdua dengan ibu. Ni ibu dah tak ada, ayah duduk sorang sorang je tau.

Ni nasib adik dapat belajar dekat area sini je. Selalulah balik jenguk ayah. Nak harapkan along dengan angah. Angah okaylah lagi ingat ke ayah. Along? Hm ntah bilalah nak jenguk ayah yang dah tua ni nak oii," sedih ayah bercetera.

"Ayah tertunggu-tunggu ketibaan Ramadan setiap tahun. Sebab tu je peluang nak jumpa anak-anak ayah, nak gelak sama dengan anak-anak ayah.

Ayah dah tua, adik tahu, kan. Ayah harap family kita dapat bersatu semula sebelum ayah dah tak ada."

Aku terdiam. Ada rasa sebak bermaharajalela dalam jiwa. Aku ingat aku aje yang sedih. Tapi aku lupa, ayah lagi banyak menderita.

Ayah dan ibu adalah kurniaan dan rahmat Allah yang paling indah. Patutkah kita sia-siakan mereka?