i brought this upon myself

 Honestly, this week of the year feels the most heart-wrenching. I feel so alone, this loneliness almost wrapped me whole like the blanket I covered myself when the weather is too cold. It's Christmas, and I'm stuck here like a trapped bird in a golden cage, feeling remorseful of not buying a ticket back home and see my parents' face. And my family's.

I know it's temporary - this feeling - but still, it made me sad and cannot function for the whole weekend. This loneliness had fueled me enough that I'm here lamenting and crying and feeling unwanted.

I have an assignment due today, which I only started it today. How can I missed the due date? I thought the due date was in like another few weeks. I am never like this, so I could feel the stress piling higher and higher it almost collapse. The environment here doesn't even help one bit. I just feel... sigh.

But can I blame anybody other than my own clumsy being?

I brought this upon myself.

I brought this upon myself.

I brought this upon myself.

heartbreaks

let's be real.

we hate heartbreaks, aren't we?

and we'd hate it if constant heartbreaks keep happening.

so why some people can't understand that keeping hearts intact is a two way thing?

it's not "if you treat me good, i'll treat you good".

i believe it's "treat people how you want to be treated".

it has to be mutual.

it has to be.

that way, life happens.

we cannot read minds.

we cannot understand hearts.

but through action, we sway through life;

through hardships, through goodness.

but through words, we communicate in depth;

addressing mistakes, admitting feelings.

so why some people can't understand?

that keeping heart intact is a two way thing.

(this is written on a whim i'm super sad today just let me be)

2022

 Alright new year! Actually I was gonna watch my e-lecture but I somehow remembered this blog so maybe an update wouldn't hurt? 5 minutes!

Anyways where was I? Oh yes new year! It's 2022 already. I am in my second year now, currently in the eleventh week of the first semester! Exhausted, no kidding, and  I have two quizzes next week (it's for my core subjects *cries).

Resolutions?

Tbh I don't really make up a specific resolutions. But let's do it now ^^

2021 Resolutions

1. To lose weight

1. To be healthy + drinks lots of water!

2. To read more books (Target: 50 books? I read 25 this year)

3. To achieve 3.70+ CGPA (let's work hard this year too)

4. Maybe save up? Save money! Don't buy unnecessary things

5. To do more entries

6. Write a story!

I think that's it? 

Let's be ambitious for once xD

Alright bye!

p/s I'm thinking of writing more this year, gonna dust and use you well! :D