it pains me how I am entitled to other people's expectations, when in reality I just want to live a quiet life.

[Chapter 1] "You can see now?"

     I lived every single day in hard mode.

    That seemed a bit farfetched, alright but is anything in life ever easy? Even the cat that I said hi to every day had a hard time greeting me back, and all it does is lay all day. Not that I am jealous of a cat, of course.

    It was a supposedly sunny day, but I brought along my umbrella anyways. The thought of having soaked feet while wearing sneakers made me shudder, because only Lord knows how that irked me. I'd rather be safe than sorry. 'But the umbrella does not make your shoes dry if it rains," my mother once said. It is true, but there is no technology that is sustainable which pursues that yet. Unless if I can code a spell that can dispel the rain, but that would be cheating the system, and Sir Lucas would not like that. 

    I hushed my thoughts and focused on my walk to the academy, feeling the sun burning my skin. It is free Vitamin D at mornings like this, so I preferred the walk, although mother always insists that I should not do that every day, that this is going to cost me skin cancer. I hate arguing with her, but we argued anyways, because technology has gone beyond and sunscreen exist for a reason. I even touched them up with some protection magic. She knew this, and yet each time she would always tell me the same thing. Mother love is peculiar, but I loved her, still.

    "God, you are day dreaming so early in the morning," a familiar voice greeted my ears. "I called you so many times," she laughed and briefly touched my shoulder. It was Lily, my work colleague. She had blonde hair, hanging low just above her shoulders. Her eyes were sage green, befitting her cute, pointed nose and rose lips. "I'm sorry I was... occupied."

    "With getting your Vitamin D?" she laughed again, but not in a mocking way. "I shall join you then. Lead the way!" she pitched and we walked side by side to the office. I liked how our conversations just flowed naturally, she is really a smooth talker. She was the first person I ever got acquainted with when I came to the office two years ago. I was not the best at expressing myself, but she just know whenever I feel... things. She said she could feel my aura shifting whenever I disagree, and how it fluctuated whenever I am nervous. "I just feel it, maybe because you wear your heart on your sleeve?" she had told me before. I know that is not true, because she is a mage after all, but I brushed it off because I found it fascinating, like she understands me.

    "So I think we should work on that today. What do you think?" 

    "Yeah. Yeah? Sorry? What I think about what?"

    She chuckled briefly, bewildered. "You totally did not hear that, huh? I said-"

    "Katherine?"

    That was not a familiar voice. I halted and turned slightly as the voice came from the front, just to meet eye to eye with a tall, slender man, a briefcase in hand. He wore a long, khaki coat that almost reached his knees, paired with a pair of slacks and fancy British boots.

    "You are Katherine right?" he repeated. What a way to start the day. I have not gotten to work yet, and I had to concentrate all my living cells just to remember who he is. I am not letting myself do that, am I?

    "I'm sorry, you are...?"

    "Oh, pardon my rudeness. I am Rafayel."'

    Rafayel? I could almost hear my eyebrows knitted, as I was feeling puzzled and confused. If he is the Rafayel I know...

    "You know him, Kay?" Lily tugged my shirt. "Should we run? I can tele-"

    "You can see now?" Lord, that totally sounds off. I could see the weird look Lily's giving me from the corner of my eye. "Oh no, I mean-" He let out a silly laugh before I rephrase myself, like he was expecting my ments.

    "So you do remember me," his eyes locked onto mine. His eyes were bright brown, it was hazel. His eyes had depth that could suck me in, but instead of feeling enamored, I could not help but notice the scar on his right eye parallel to his nose, tracing from his upper right brows to lower lashes.

    The Rafayel I knew was blind since childbirth. 

    So how could he even know how I look?

    

    

heart of glass

 if i were to say

that i am hurt far worse,

it would sounds like yours are nothing to mine

yet this heart of glass of ours,

will break and shatter; although for a different reason,

because the decree of feelings we feel

is not akin to one another.

and in the end of the day,

whatever has shattered will remain shattered,

and the reason it needed to occur -

does not matter.

truly, really.

 things that made me sad today:

1. I got told off for something due to miscommunication. My true intention was pure (of course I know it's MY intention) but they assume things, so there it goes. I dislike being assumed of things I never thought of. They thought I lied because I lied about certain things, but seriously? Would I lie about things I genuinely feel about?

2. I've been craving for ayam gepuk for like, ages. Suddenly today my friends went to ayam gepuk, the very day I'm not together with them.

3. I despise being compared. Being told that my progress aren't enough compared to my mates is just... awful. 

4. I also despise double standard. Bias. Am I that bad? Why do I feel like I am troubling someone who are supposed to do their job. Or is it me who acted too indifferently?

5. I realised I truly, really don't have any true friends. All my friends are either jealous of me, befriend me because I am convenient or secretly dislike me but talk to me anyways.

Ah.

Now I feel better.